Ripples #18

Compiled and Written by Lenny Giteck

Arnold Schwarenegger’s
Affinity for Soviet Busts

Why did Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger adorn the deck around his swimming pool with statues of deceased Soviet luminaries?

According to the Web site TorontoSun.com, “The Terminator star reveals he asked friends in Russian wrestling circles to send him a good bust after the Soviet Union fell in 1991 and statues and billboards featuring the faces of Communism were being destroyed — and the dead leaders kept coming for years afterwards.

“Schwarzenegger explains, ‘They sent me this bust of Lenin, but the problem was they kept sending me more and more statues. I’d put them by the pool at home. Andropov and Chernenko and Brezhnev — all these old guys were around our swimming pool.’”

The report goes on to reveal that Mrs. Terminator — a.k.a. Maria Shriver — thought her husband had gone bonkers; eventually, she had the statues hauled away. But according to “Entertainment Weekly,” it was not before Mr. Terminator managed to save one of the Communist artworks — the first-to-arrive bust of Lenin — which now adorns the desk in his home office.

All Ripples can say is, good thing the McCarthy Red Scare era is long gone, or Ahhhnold — including his former world-champion biceps, triceps, delts, pecs and glutes — would be toast. (Still, ol’ Joe McCarthy must be spinning in his grave.) Given the statuary evidence, Ripples can’t help but ask: Could The Terminator possibly be a closet pinko-commie stooge? Say it ain’t so, Arnie…say it ain’t so!

Urine Nation: To Pee, or Not
To Pee,That Is the Quesiton

A recent survey by the Water Quality and Health Council delivered this unsettling news: One in five Americans urinate in swimming pools when nature calls. A repprt on LiveScience.com explained that the survey involved 1,000 Americans and was conducted online two years ago. The margin of error for the study was plus or minus 3.1 percentage points.

But wait — there’s even more bad news! The survey also revealed that that almost half (47 percent) of the subjects admitted to “one or more behaviors that contribute to an unhealthy pool.” The findings include the following:

 About one-third (35 percent) say they don’t shower before entering the pool.

 63 percent were unaware of illnesses associated with swallowing, breathing
or having contact with contaminated pool water.

 Less than one quarter consider the frequency of pool cleaning and chemical
treatment (23 percent) andeven less (16 percent) think about chlorine levels
to maintain clean pool water.

Video: Speaking of peeing in the pool, Ripples has come across a rather amusing video that clears up the burning question: Is it true you can put a chemical in your pool that instantly exposes and embarrasses people who relieve themselves in the water? (In Ripples’ opinion, this video represents yellow journalism in the finest sense of the term.) To learn the correct answer, click on http://tinyurl.com/3klwcvj.

8-Foot-Long Gator Goes
For Dip in Florida Pool

In New Port Richey, Fla., a man came home for lunch recently and discovered an 8-foot alligator swimming around in his backyard pool. The animal apparently had ripped through the screened-in pool enclosure before plunging into the water. An alligator trapper — in this case, one very gutsy lady — was called in and lassoed the creature before dragging it away.

Video: To watch the reptile swimming in the pool and actually taking a bite out of the coping, go to http://tinyurl.com/6zgb7lr.

Pick Your Pool Poison:
Gator or Gang Member

Then there was the recent case in Clovis, Calif., in which a gang member on the run from the police following a routine traffic stop hid in a backyard residential swimming pool.

According to a report on the Web site abclocal.go.com, police found 27-year-old Vue Her submerged in the pool. “Investigators say the validated gang member had a loaded gun and methamphetamine in his possession,” the Web site report continues. “They also discovered he was wanted by the U.S. Marshals Service on a weapons charge.”

Happily, the home to which the pool belonged was vacant at the time. Still, given the choice of unwanted pool guest, Ripples would pick the reptile any day.

Varicose Veins Lead to
Swimming Pool Brouhaha

With much of the world focused on the imminent royal wedding of William and Kate, it’s a good bet this story from the U.K. won’t be getting top billing in the international press — but for one British woman, it may be of equal or greater importance.

Fifty-seven-year-old Julia Babbage was greatly upset after she was told by a staff member at the Banstead Leisure Centre swimming pool to remove a pair of support tights she was wearing — or else leave the facility. Banstead Leisure Center is located in the town of Tadworth, in southeastern England.

Babbage had donned the tights to hide her varicose veins, but apparently the attire did not conform the facility’s swimming dress code. The aggrieved woman was especially incensed by the manner in which the incident was handled.

“It was totally embarrassing,” she was quoted as saying on yourlocalguardian.co.uk. “Is it appropriate to discuss it in the middle of the swimming pool with onlookers? If they had called me out after my swim and said we need to discuss something with you, that would have been professional and reasonable.”

The U.K. Web site went on to report: “The leisure centre has since invited Mrs. Babbage to return and will allow her to wear tights when swimming, but she is no longer a member.”

Until next time…happy watershaping to you…

and don’t get your tights in a twist!