Compiled and Written by Lenny Giteck
Dear reader, you’re in for a real treat! Ripples dedicates this entire edition to…Humans Behaving Badly Around Swimming Pools.
Please hum the theme song from “The Pink Panther” while you swim < style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">your way through the following:
Ohio Man Arrested for Having
Sex with Inflatable Pool Raft
An Ohio man has been arrested for public “sexual activity” with a pink inflatable swimming pool raft, according to the Web site digtriad.com. Given the color of the raft, Ripples assumes this was a heterosexual encounter…of sorts.
Edwin Charles Tobergta, a 32-year-old repeat indecency offender, was spotted in an alley by the owner of the raft while committing the act. When the raft’s owner called out to Tobergta to stop, he grabbed the raft and fled the scene.
Tobergta's grandmother was quoted in the report as saying, "He has a lot of mental problems, and he's always had a fascination for plastic. We never could get the proper care for Edwin.”
Ripples hopes Edwin does receive the proper care. He clearly needs it.
Mass. Man Arrested for Stealing
Family’s Aboveground Pool
In Greenfield, Mass, a family called local police to report that their 24-foot-diameter aboveground pool had been stolen. Luckily, a scrap metal company in town also called the police to report that some men had come in and tried to sell a used, metal aboveground pool, which aroused suspicion.
According to foxnews.com, “Police arrested 49-year-old Henry Stefanowich of Chicopee and charged him with larceny and trespassing. He pleaded not guilty Tuesday and was released on $500 bail. Stefanowich told police he had permission to take the pool, but the family denies that.”
Long-time readers of Ripples may remember the Indiana woman who offered her aboveground pool to her new boyfriend as payment for killing her old boyfriend. (Happily, the plot was never…uh…executed.) Although the Massachusetts case pales in comparison, we repeat what we opined months ago about the nefarious murder-for-hire plot: “Swimming pools should be used only for good, never for evil.”
Georgia Man Arrested for Using
City Fire Hydrant to Fill Pool
Richard Isaac, 51, of Lawrenceville, Ga., was arrested after a neighbor noticed a hose attached to a fire hydrant near Isaac’s house. Police discovered that the hose was filling Isaac’s backyard swimming pool, which reportedly contained some 5,000 gallons of water at the time.
According to ajc.com, Isaac told the cops that “the last time he filled his pool, it cost him too much money.” The report on the incident noted (with satisfaction bordering on glee) that “now [Isaac] will have to spend money on legal fees.”
Ripples has no doubt that by the time Isaac pays his attorney and presumably a hefty fine, this will turn out to be among the most expensive pool-fillings in history.
Keep humming…”Pink Panther” theme.
Indiana Couple Charged After Having
Sex in Public Pool for Half an Hour
Myron Helms, 33, and Victoria Cross, 40, were charged with a misdemeanor indecency count in Connersville, Ind., after they had sex in a public swimming pool for approximately 30 minutes. The untoward incident reportedly was seen by dozens of witnesses, including children.
A report on the event at blog.mydot.com noted, “Pool manager Cindy Schwab told police she walked up behind Helms and Cross ‘when she realized what they were doing’ and told the couple to stop. She said that Cross then moved away from Helms.
The article went on to report, “In light of the activity, municipal workers have added additional chemicals to the pool and have recycled its water.”
But wait, there’s more! Here’s the capper (or is it the copper?). As it turns out, “Helms works as a reserve officer with the neighboring Laurel City Police Department and has been suspended without pay due to the incident.”
To paraphrase the late, great Mae West’s most famous quip: “Officer, is that a pistol in your Speedo or are you just glad to see me?”
Pa. Electrician Charged with Criminal
Mischief for Ripping Out Pool Wiring
And finally, we all know about road rage…and waiting-in-line rage…and being-put-on-hold (on the phone) rage…and all the other rages occasioned by modern life. Now we must add swimming-pool-electrical-job rage to the list.
According to chron.com, Richard Nicol, a 41-year-old electrician in Beaver, Pa., was charged with criminal mischief, loitering and prowling at night after he allegedly “tore out wiring he performed on a customer’s swimming pool when he became ‘irate’ during a dispute over the job’s cost.
“Police say a customer told them she was friends with Nicol when he agreed to do the swimming pool job for $400,” the article continues. “The woman claims she paid half up front but refused to pay more until after the job was finished and inspected, and [that she] was told it would actually cost $536.”
Obviously, this particular electrician is a little too wired — in more ways than one.
This concludes our visit to the dark side of human behavior in relation to swimming pools. Coming soon in Ripples: How Swimming Has Become a Major Vehicle for Doing Good in the World. Look for it!
You may stop humming now.
Until next time, happy watershaping to you!